Zimbabwe’s 10 Most Influential Grocery List Items

We have heard of the Zimbabwe’s 100 most influential people’s list and also recently Bulawayo has come up with it’s very own, 100 most popular people in Bulawayo, which I am included in of course (The Bulawayo one).  Well after scrolling through the first one and not finding many of my friends like everybody else I clicked back but I thought it would be interesting to make a grocery list. The 10 most influential grocery list items. I don’t have time to really be thinking of 100…. I had to re-edit the heading.

I mean groceries had lists before the INTERNET, why not just give them some exposure on this platform right?

1. Dragon – Dragon has always been a trending topic because of it’s ability to boost ones batteries. It’s a powerbank and a half and has influenced many pregnancies this year. I’m sure if it had been popular last year the Va Postori would have given a more thorough ass-whooping to the popo. Nowadays you can be sure to catch someone drinking dragon energy drink with plain buns from TM.

  1. Candles– I am sure candles are now being sold more than ever before whilst people save for those $35 solar lamps. You’re no longer a romantic for hosting dinner with candle light so “Solar lamp” is the new romantic. So candles gotta be on your grocery list.
  2. Water Guard– You’re better off asking the school janitor to handle your sadza than to trust the municipal with your water. We have all seen the brown sediments collect under water containers. Many families have resorted to treating their water with disinfectants such as waterguard.
  3. Cerevita – I have always loved mealie-meal porridge but well the stove could switch off midway while you are cooking your morning energy boost. Cervita comes to the rescue because, you don’t even need warm water plus it also works for lazy people.
  4. Shumba Maheu– Yes Shumba Maheu is now an official grocery list item. As soon as they made Maheu ready for purchase I personally grew lazy to prepare them the traditional way. Plus remember with the shop ones, the sugar is measured for you and you don’t have to wait a few days to consume them. The only problem with the ones from shops is they lack the sadza aspect and they can’t get me tipsy enough to continue the when I was high series from where I left off.
  5. Balloons and condoms– This is for families with kids that don’t yet know much. See in this era if you don’t show kids the difference between balloons and condoms they will pick up anything from the street and blow it into a balloon. Regularly add balloons to the list to make sure they are familliar with how the REAL balloons look.
  6. Biscuits– These will save you when visitors come. Get the hard Charhons that will get them constipated. Before they know it they will be full without you going out of your budget to feed them. Be careful however about the amount of gas that is set to explode from this.
  7. Green Bar– Whilst you may have your Lux and all, keep your green bar as a back up because we all know it’s multi-purpose. It can act as roll-on, for laundry, dishes, body and even to scrub the floor. You can never go wrong.
  8. Cabbage– That’s like the longest lasting and cost effective vegetable I know. Plus it has it’s health benefits. It can keep you on budget.
  9. Lunch Tinned Ice-cream– After you wipe out the Ice-Cream, alas, you now have one more free container to keep your rice, beans or sugar in. Never mind that it has that Vanilla label on it. You just gained yet another container. This is particularly for mums.

There you have it, we have made that grocery list…. now Tinned Beans, Floor Polish and Toothpaste will go and argue it out on Supermarket Facebook that they were left out…. then probably make their own list. Lol… In the mean time This Is Africa.

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