When I Was High Part 5: Talking Hip-hop With A Mosquito

I sleep high on a silly Monday and have a very bizarre dream about a giant mosquito. Miskito is her name. Here is how the dream goes.

(A human size mosquito sits on a park bench, her legs crossed. I don’t freak out because I’ve seen models before plus I have Baygon in my gun pocket. She has a fake iPod and a cable going to his antennas; probably earphones for insects.)

MCPOTAR: So, Mosquitoes listen to music?

(I smile)

MISKITO: Dude, that’s a silly question. Is there any other way of consuming music other than listening to it? You don’t expect that we drink it do you?

(She looks at me as if I am a retard.)

MCPOTAR: Ha-ha-ha funny girl. Well, okay what do you think about Zimbabwean hip-hop music.

(She continues to look at me as if I am a retard. Then he folds her hands and raises her chin.)

MISKITO: I relate to some projects, especially those that are relatable to mosquitoes, a bit of The Art Department, Synik. You know? Noble Stylz and Savage I guess. There is a lot of potential but some artistes “suck” more than mosquitoes do.

MCPOTAR: I saw what you did there (fake laughter). Those are some of my favourite artistes too but explain what you mean by “relatable to mosquitoes”.

MISKITO: Well for example with Noble Stylz I like that he chose a title like Masofa Panze. In the mosquito community, the term Masofa Panze (which means Sofas Out)  is huge, because I understand Zimbo funerals usually have humans take sofas outside in the night to sit, make chants, fabricate crying and bid farewell to their loved ones.

In the mosquito community, this gathering is a chance to have a variety of drinks… if you know what I mean. I mean your skin will be out in the darkness where we love to shop, sometimes the funerals are caused by Malaria, courtesy of that Anopheles ratchet, sometimes They Do Thega.

MCPOTAR: Hahaha, crazy so I guess you like Blacperl then.

(Miskito nods her head)

I’ve never actually seen it that way. The way you saw all that in a title I mean…

(Miskito uncrosses her legs and leans forward. I lean foward and rest my chin on my fist with my eyes focused)

MISKITO: It’s almost always in the title man, by the time you get into the album there are even tracks like Jeri (which means jail). Everybody knows we get quite a number of supplies from jail to feed ourselves ‘cause most inmates are in shorts like Tezvara. Of course that’s why we also love the “While You Were Sleeping” album from The Art Department because while you were sleeping we drank and mated on your forehead.

(She makes sexual innuendos with her hands whilst he grins)

MCPOTAR: That’s rather gross, didn’t realize you were a perv’ – (I grimace)

MISKITO: All mosquitoes are perverts.

MCPOTAR: I see how these titles have a big role I’m still trying to figure out which Synik project reminds you of sucking blood. Gosh, you such a sucker for blood.

MISKITO: Powercut!!!

Definitely Power cut. Thanks to ZESA’s random load shedding we’ve been gaining weight with no appetites because the darkness is solid we don’t even have to wait for a “masofa panze” or “while you were sleeping” scenario. We can actually hustle while you are awake.

MCPOTAR: So you only care about titles and not lyrics. Do you listen to hip-hop? *Pause*

 Oh, by the way, that’s a silly question. – (I tap my forehead)

MISKITO: Silly yes, but it’s okay to be yourself. I still wish Syn-City was titled Skin-City, the red on the album art was appetizing fah-real though… and for obvious reasons, we like Lights Out. Jungle Fever by Savage as well, the jungle has always provided a habitat for us. Mosquitoes love long grass and the irony is Malaria is like a “jungle fever”.

MCPOTAR: Hahaha you too predictable. You a perv’ for blood, you only think about sucking it. (She slaps my shoulder and thrusts her tongue on her left cheek suggestively)

‘Ey, it’s been nice chatting wit’ya I gotta write this stuff ‘fore I forget.

MISKITO:  Yeah please do, we love what you doing, creating buzz for people without having to flap wings. I wish we could buzz silently like that.

MCPOTAR: Really, mosquitoes actually read my blog? I assumed you wouldn’t because I removed the red theme a long time ago.

MISKITO: Your blog gets RED!!! all the time because you’re always showcasing new blood.

(We both laugh, then I see MMT coming towards us. They look at us)

MMT: Wake up!

(The dream fades out.)

I wake up with a lot of spots to scratch the next Tuesday, now I understand why Miskito loves While You Were Sleeping. Based on the outcome, I hope I never dream of a bee.

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