The Six Girls In A Bachelors Whatsapp Chat

So here are 6 girls you will probably find in your chat if you’re a bachelor. It may or may not apply for everyone, in fact some people don’t actually have any females in their chats yet. Getting numbers is not as easy as it seems hey.

1. The Manipulator

Normally she doesn’t start a conversation with you or reply to your, “Hey” messages. She practically even ignores if you try to compliment her. However when days are dark or she actually needs some help that she knows you might provide freely, underneath 7 of of your last attempts to start a conversation. She will say, “Hey Bruce, long time!” and a kiss-kiss emoji to that. – If you engage after a while the real reason she is texting you will emerge.

“Bruce, you do logos right.”

When she does that, just send her your rate card. Let her know you charge for it. Of course you usually do that for free for special friends but those 7 unreplied chats before her request scream, “We’re not that close.”

2. The Friendzoner

As you get a bit more comfy and flirtatious down the conversation she will check you by reminding you that you are her friend. She does this politely or actually uses the words, dear, friend and buddie as punctuation marks.

“Morning friend,” or “Goodnight friend” or…. you get the gist right?

Occasionally when she wants to assume the role of manipulator she will call you, boo, bae, hun or love.- You will resume to your dear title soon after delivering. She will say, “Thank you friend.”


3. The Crier

She may as well be one of the prettiest girls you chat with but oh, everybody apparently hates her. No one has been loyal to her in her life. Apparently her ex-boyfriend was the one who was always wrong in their relationship, he’s a douche. Apparently, her friends are all two timing back-stabbing b***s.
She will come to tell you all the troubles in her world and how she distastefully hates everyone. Including some people you see nothing wrong with. Very soon when she has a fall out with you. She will be telling other people how such a horrible person you are.


Ignore the crier at all costs.

4. The Blesser

I’m not talking about money. I’m talking about that girl who you can say, “hey nice pic” to and end up with a gallery of her in her baby suit by 6 in the morning. It’s like she has never read the news at all. No matter how many models have been humiliated in Hmetro and iHarare for the same thing. She’s screaming, “Hey, I want my turn.”

Did I mention that you’ve just met her? – What a blesser.


5.The Blessing

Don’t confuse “The Blesser” with “The Blessing”. The blessing can have any personality but this one, you can’t afford to offend her. She makes you smile, she makes you laugh and she looks out for you. You would marry her but you also fear you would lose her if you dated her.
This girl probably knows more about you than anyone else and if she happens to be “The Girlfriend” at the same time, stop wasting time and just marry her.


6. The Girlfriend

With this one, you had more fun as friends, no matter how much fun you have now. However now she seems to wait for you to chat her up first and has her eyes on how long you are online without talking to her. (Though you used to spend as much time without talking to her when you were friends)

Apparently you should be talking to her for every hour you are indicated as being online. This is justifiable thinking given that there might be blessers, criers and manipulators trying to steal what’s hers in other tabs.

But she must relax and know that she got this on lock. If she relaxes you will indeed block blesser, crier, manipulator and well she may graduate to being the blessing.

She must also realize she is allowed to play any of the roles in the whole list. Surely she can cry on your shoulder, “manipulate” you. – She’s bae.

But as long as she doesn’t realize it, allow her to feel stressed.

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