One Idea That Helps Me Control My Own Emotions

Like every human being I sometimes am presented by situations where I could easily be depressed, angry or sad.

To be fair. I am also presented the positive side, but this article will focus we entirely on how I manage my negative emotions using one big idea.

What is this big idea?


Human beings take information from the world via sound, taste, smell, sight and touch. The information itself does not bring about emotion before it is filtered by our perception of reality.

The emotion one chooses depends on the meaning they assign the stimulus.

Without deciding what an incident means to you, you cannot have an emotion about it good or bad.

You can’t be angry at a person who stepped on your toes before you decide in your mind if it was a genuine mistake or a planned thing.


If a girl calls her boyfriend and he does not answer.

If she decides that he is not answering because he is out with another girl, that becomes her own reality (whether it’s true or false). Her emotion will obviously then be anger, sadness or depression.

Yet she could be wrong.

Note that, her choosing to assume the negative does not mean it is true. Her perception however automatically becomes open to more signals that seem to confirm her worry.

Yet again this is her own mind.

Well her man may have been driving, or may have left the phone in a different room whilst showering.

The problem with speculating negative reasons for what one is presented by is that they then create unwarranted stress.

That’s the big idea.

Stimulus > Perception (and Meaning) > Emotion > Reaction

My first response to unfavourable incidents is to not attach a negative reason or cause. I do that because I am aware of how emotions emerge.

What things mean to you (i.e how you interpret them) dictates how you will feel about them.

It is important for me to always tell myself something from a positive mind-frame unless there are very inescapable bold indicators to prove the bad side of things.

Even then. The trick is still to find the positive outcome of that bad incident.

Is there a lesson drawn?

How can it be resolved?

How can it be avoided?

What is the opportunity?

From which perspective can it be good?

Attending to any of these questions keeps the focus off the nihilistic approach of mourning over spilt milk.

This may seem like self deception, but it’s just working on self perception. You may not reverse certain circumstances but you can’t rise from them by choosing to see the perspective about them that depresses you most.

Especially when there are infinite more liberating perceptions to choose from.

If a man or woman cheats. Tell yourself that they sabotaged themselves as opposed to thinking you are inadequate for them.

Of course that’s after you verify it to be truth. For all you know it could be your own perception creating a continuous loop of insecurity.

Which of course messes with how you interact with them, further drifting you from them when you act out in a stupid way based on your own straw men.

Failure to monitor ones perception is the reason people at times have relationship insecurity, self esteem issues, hatred for others among other toxic traits which influence detrimental actions or bad word exchanges.

Of course most of this ends up in regret, especially if one later realizes that they were wrong after all.

So whether it’s someone criticizing your music, your dreams or anything you love. You will be okay.

It could be property loss, unfair arrests, loss of a loved one.

Monitor and manage your emotions by taking care of what incidents mean to you.

Tell me if this was useful in the comments. Thank you.

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