The time you are given on this earth is very precious because it is limited. If it were not limited, you’d be okay with making mistakes and having an eternity to fix them but no!
You either make good or bad decisions in this life, thus you must sit down and check your priority list. One of the major decisions you must make on your journey is to decide the difference between where you are wanted & where you are needed.
Let me use a metaphoric example.
If you are invited to a Church mates graduation party , the party will probably go as scheduled if you don’t come, however if you are a parent or guardian of that child, part of the program may be delayed till you arrive.
“No we cannot do this until her parents arrive?”
That! my friends is the difference in a capsule. You are wanted at the event, the parents are needed. In fact if the mother falls sick on the day, the event risks being cancelled. They do not cancel the event because you have not come.
Now I’m not saying you must not attend people’s parties. Please do, sometimes you need to be where you are wanted. I’m just giving you this example to engrave the subtle differences between where you are wanted vs. where you are needed.
It will help you make judgments on business ventures and partnerships, romantic relationships and friendships. The good thing over-all is even in places where you are wanted you might end up needed.
If there is an option between being where you are wanted and where you are needed, always choose where you are needed because it is always more profitable. People or organizations that actually need you will try their best to foot their side of the deal to extract you value.
On the contrary people or organizations that just want you but don’t exactly need you negotiate and compromise more on the price it cost to extract your value. In fact if they can even have entitlement in having what you offer for free.
I am not talking in monetary terms here. Hence I use the word value as opposed to money.
An interesting example would be a dude in a girls friendzone. She wants that guy but she really doesn’t need him. The man she needs is the one she’s dating.
The guy she wants, she texts him:
When she wants some company. Maybe her man is offline or they are fighting. Maybe they broke up over some misunderstandings.
When she wants air-time, a ride when it’s raining, a fix or just for his societal status. Like, “Hey I know Stunner, Tytan… Takura, I know Nox… Look we have selfies together & I can show you that he calls me twinnie.”
Now those are great benefits she can have but there is no big modification to her life or emotions if those people are absent.
Are you wanted or needed?
To be fair and balance the examples on both genders, men do that too, maybe even a lot worse. The woman they want versus the woman they need.
That’s the difference between the girl they remember when they are “thirsty” and the one they remember to include in every other arena of their lives other than the sexual chemistry.
That’s why there are so many of these little terms we throw around to sanitize fornication & adultery without calling it out for what it is right.
“Booty call”, “Escort”, “Friennefits/ Friends with Benefits”, “Side dish/ Side chick” and so on…
The truth of the matter is if they were needed, the person would do what the need to do to have them officially whether culturally, customarily, legally or in the religious context of how it’s supposed to be done. Facts only!
You will always be able to tell that difference if you are observant and wise.
I can tell you this ; being wanted is amazing. It gives you a chance to be needed perhaps if you play your cards. I will however say, if you drop the things you need to do just to give time to people who just want you, in the midst of all that if what they need presents, they will possibly get up and follow that at your expense.
I mean it’s only logical that you lost your value even to them the minute you decided to abandon your needs for their wants. We’ve all been there and we all continually make that mistake in certain areas of our lives but we can improve our evaluation of things when we begin to ask ourselves these questions.
Over-all, don’t seek to be needed either when the value you give is insufficient. If you find out that you are often wanted in places than needed. Take time with yourself, detach from all that and gain clarity of purpose so that you can start to develop your gifts to the world that the real people who need you will pay for at a just price.
Let’s make wise decisions. If you feel enlightened by what I just shared do not hesitate to hit me up on twitter @Mcpotar. #BookOfBroverbs