It is a common phrase that falling in love is the easiest part of being in a relationship. Just like any other thing in life, beginning something does not take as much effort as staying committed to the path chosen, constantly and with the same zeal as on the first day. The same applies to love, setting the fire proves to be easy as compared to keeping the fire burning. Failure to notice the signs that show a reduction in the ‘fire’ also means that by the time you realize it, it might be too little too late. The motives of going into a relationship have a large bearing on the strength of the union. Some do it for status, money, sex or other pressures which lead to the love being conditional. In this piece of writing, I will tackle some issues I believe to be some of the main causes of failed relationships.
1. Failure to communicate
Communication is one of the fundamental tools to developing and maintaining relationships generally. Some describe it as the ‘lifeblood’ of all relations regardless of their nature. When a relationship begins, people are normally full of enthusiasm where they talk to each almost every time but as days turns into weeks and weeks into months, the excitement starts to fizzle out. When you communicate with someone, you are giving them something you can never get back, which is your time and that is why communication is of so much value to your partner. Maintain a healthy communication lines at all costs.
These have a ripple effect as they cripple trust and without trust a relationship can not survive. Rushing into conclusions without any factual evidence, or asking your partner about an issue but still not believing them can drive them away. Your partner can change his/her behavior because of some issues in the background and not that they are fooling around. Don’t assume that he is cheating because he nolonger calls as much as he used to, maybe he has other issues affecting his change in behavior such as financial issues.
3. Digging into a lover’s past.
There is no problem in wanting to know your partner’s background but the mistake arises when you start judging them based on the past. Some people become so obsessed with their lover’s past to the extent of stalking their ex lovers. They go on to compare themselves with who their partner was dating before them and this is not healthy to a relationship. Some people do not want to go back to their past so one should try to respect this space. Accept them for who they are now.
Listening to people talking bad about your partner and believing the gossip does not help in keeping a relationship healthy. You should understand that not everyone will be happy for you when you fall in love. Some will try feeding you with negative stories about your partner. The can go as far as fabricating these stories, small issues being magnified and all this might be done to cripple the love you found. Just like a partner in a business venture, you have the mandate to protect your relationship therefore know who to trust among the people you call friends.
5. Failure to commit
Love is like a journey which inevitably has ups and downs, sharp curves, roadblocks, sometimes it gets rainy and other times it is smooth flowing, new adventures and so on. Commitment means, through whatever comes you have decided to be there. You understand that it wont always be rosey and beautiful words spoken, sometimes you will get on each other’s nerves. Going through the worst together will strengthen your relationship. Love has a lot to do with loyalty, your commitment will be tested regularly and I say, you should understand this before you enter a new relationship.
Love is hardwork but it is beautiful. Give as much as you take and always let love lead the way.
Jay Mashaire is an RnB artiste based in Zimbabwe, who has made quite incredible milestones, you check out his music via this link.