We set out to find out what happens in the life and mind of a player. We are not talking about a football, rugby or tennis player, not even VLC, we are talking about a schizophrenic who dates multiple women at the same time.- One woman for each personality. The urban and slang definition of a player.
So we caught up with one of the best players in town who identifies himself as “Fourcorner” and we had the following interview with him.
So, tell us Mr. Four-corner, many people say that most players always gloat about their victories but say nothing about their losses. It is said players get rejected more than the average citizen. Is that true?
I can neither deny no confirm that. Under section 23 of the Players constitution I cannot divulge that information.
Fair enough. So how many girlfriends or side-chicks what have you, do you have?
Let me just say, they are so many that they have decided to register an Association with my main girlfriend as the president of that association. Women In Four-corner International (WiFi). roughly 24.
Whoa! Wait a minute, you say your main chick is on the forefront of this initiative? Isn’t she offended that you have side-chicks?
Well “The Twerk Twerk Twerk Twerk Queen” as we call her does not discriminate against side-chicks for she was a side-chick her-self and she had to fight against my ex-wifes oppressive regime. She is sitting with DJ Mox and negotiating with the directors of Sabhuku Vharazipi to finally bring to life Moxinator’s long awaited master-piece 12 Years A Side Chick. The movie industry in Zim will benefit from this one.
Oh my goodness. So anyway what sort of issues does the WiFi deal with?
WiFi? – Well you can for instance use it to connect to the internet or transfer files over Local Area Network?
I meant, Women In Fourcorner International…
Oh, you meant WIFI. It’s WIFI not wife-eye. Wife-eye would be a good security name though… You know for men to keep an eye on their wives who love me. Hahahaha
Okay back to your question, the role of the association is to tackle major concerns that the women face. The challenges they come across in trying to keep me satisfied and so forth. They raise money for make up and the association regulates whose turn it is to be on the profile pic with me.
Oh, so what happens to those who may want to have you on the Whatsapp display pic daily?
Due to reports of jealousy motivated violence in previous years over original photos the association resolved that others are only allowed to use that picture if it is by an app like Pic Mix.
You mentioned an ex-wife. What happened to her?
I have no idea, I only heard that she died after a long illness. I wonder what she was suffering from.
What challenges do you face as a player in Zimbabwe?
Well I get challenges from a lot of fellow big dhara’s who want to challenge my game especially when there is a yellow bone.
Let me re-frame that. I meant what other problems besides these big dhara’s?
Discrimination is a big problem. As a player I also do philanthropy, like Bill Gates, but because of my skin perhaps they want to call me the derogatory terms of blesser and sugar papa. Ungrateful girls have called me douche-bag but I am a born winner.
As a philanthropist I have been sponsoring young girls and giving them small grants for their skills as a way of giving back to their tax-paying parents from the missing 15 billion dollars. I have offered swallowships to many of them… and they have been so grateful as to kneel for them.
Okay that was unneccessary detail, I regret asking but ummm… Thank you Mr. Four-corner for sharing a lot with us.
PS: This is a fictitious interview for your own amusement. Feel free to follow me on twitter @Mcpotar or request me on Facebook.