For Those Going Through A Heartbreak

The feeling of a break-up especially when you’re on the receiving end may be awful. You usually wish your lover would have a change of mind and act very emotionally. You feel as empty as Book Cafe during a Zimbabwean hip-hop show.

During that emptyness don’t call them for you may worsen relations by saying more offensive things out of hurt. Rather take time to appreciate and rebuild yourself knowing that life goes on. You may dream of them coming back, that potential exists but it doesn’t come through them pitying you as I’ve learnt over the years. It comes from you bettering you and moving on. Moving on is not getting people to flirt with immediately, moving on is realizing that they are not everything and removing the idea that they are the only source of your happiness. That thought is very dangerous and may even harm future relationships.

How can you get them out of your mind then? You can’t get them out of your mind but you can change what they represent in your mind.Mind is perception; how you see it, how you take it. That somehow organizes itself to create the feelings part. Are you going to feel awful or will it be okay? Tell yourself it’s okay and remove distractions that may downplay your healing progress.

Go out and talk to new people. Do not drown yourself in drugs and alcohol, remember the motive is to build self. This increases your chances of being in positive energy to move to someone better. Yes there is always a better person, and by becoming better yourself you begin to deserve them too. They are better people because they improved on their flaws. Now  if you can, delete their messages so you do not keep reading them, remove their contact and do not peep at their whatsapp status. Free your mind from reminders. On the other hand find constructive hobbies.

Now they did leave you for some reason or the other. In case they were right begin to work on those flaws and better yourself unless what they wanted you to change was a core-value. Nobody must manipulate you or the things that make you who you are. If they couldn’t accept you for you… Well good ridance to them. Do not cry over a manipulative relationship, thank God for allowing it to self destruct. The wounds from surgery may look unbearable but it’s what you may need to live.

Flee from the thought that you lost but rather they lost and that little thing called karma exists. It has hit me a couple of times. Meanwhile don’t trace their lives to see how far Karma has gone to bring justice. Let Karma do her job, she’s a lady of the night whom one pays by screwing other people over. The fact that they may be writing happy statuses on social media or public domains does not mean that’s the reality. In fact I am yet to prove that whenever people have to emphasize how happy they are on Facebook, chances are the opposite is in play. Leave them and have pure fun, they will start one day by texting an apology after the very same thing happens to them. They will apologize so much you can tell they are sincere. They will do so after weeks of pondering how to talk to you. Do not easily fall prey when they do and do not be excited. Allow them to feed their desperation elsewhere.

I have apologized to a couple of people for being a deuche, forgiveness is pending though and many have apologized to me. I did not google up all this to write this I experienced it and am a student of these life lessons. Just that many of my close people are going through some rough patches and I thought I’d share how I got by.

I have found peace in achieving for self before a 2nd party arrives. A 2nd party could make it stronger but never allow the structure to fall when they leave. Love yourself, improve yourself and trust God for your answers more than you trust this article or google.

I tell myself daily that I’m a King and that I am and so are you. You are a Queen or King to self before others recognize and those who will leave to dine with a pauper should never bother you. #Provokatif_Inspiration

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