Communication In Relationships By Felicia Diallo and Jay Mashaire

Felicia Diallo and Jay mashaire (at time of article upload) are a musically gifted couple. You can find Felicia’s music here and Jay Mashaire’s Music there… open those links in other tabs and read what they have to say.

couples-talkingRelationships can only be solidly built on clear communication. Frustration presents itself when there is no confidential talk. Everyday we think of things that may concern us and it’s so important to be able to communicate that to our mates or partners clearly. Many relationships are destroyed because one or the other cannot clearly communicate. There are those in a relationship that would welcome to talk things out however their mate would rather not. How can anything be solved without clear communication? If there are issues or something that could be as trouble-free as paying bills, buying clothes, purchasing a home or car. How would something as simple as this become frustrating; because clear communication is missing? A relationship consists of two people; if you want your relationship to be successful you must be able to have clear communication with one another. Such simple topics could be easily taken care of by clear communication. Learning to clearly communicate will in reality enhance your relationship and it does work but it takes time and patience. One of the most frustrating issues in a marriage or any type of relationship is not being able to communicate. If you ask most couples that have had a marriage fail, they will tell you they just stopped talking. Like with anything if you don’t use it you loose it. Many misunderstandings are caused by a lack of clear communication. Couples may go for days hurt and or not speaking only to find out what you thought happened never really happened. Lots of us take things said as a personal attack, or will assume our mates has insinuated one thing when all along it was not that serious to them and they meant something different. However, we took it the wrong way; clear communication would have cleared the situation up instantly. Nearly all of the time what is needed is clear communication and all parties would have a lucid understanding of how both feel. The majority of the time due to a lack of communication something so small turns into something larger and goes somewhere it really shouldn’t. Clear communication is so essential to ending and resolving in a very short time misunderstandings. The bottom line is; you cannot have a relationship without clear communication. Some are not natural communicators. Work on it within your relationship and see how you can have a long and happy relationship with long lasting communication and understanding. Anything worth keeping is worth working for. No one can be successful in any element of life without clear communication. Make your relationship worth it by continuously working on keeping that line of communication open and clear.

GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS The ability to tell each other thoughts, feelings and wants is so important to a relationship. Good, open, and honest communication is like oil to a car. Without oil in the car, internal parts will burn up and the car will be ready for the scrap pile. Communication is important! There are no mind readers. For a relationship to grow and prosper, likes, dislikes, desires, hopes, dreams and problems need to be said. If a couple’s communication is restricted, the relationship is destined for major problems down the road. We take cars for oil changes to keep them going strong, why not seek a professional’s assistance to change our communication patterns in order to keep the relationship in tip top shape just like our automobiles? THE ABILITY TO CHANGE Relationships are not static. They are ever changing. If they become static for too long, they can become extinct like the dinosaurs. Relationships go through a life cycle: the honeymoon, with children, mid-life crisis, the empty nest and the reacquainting period and then death of a spouse and the end of the relationship. All of these stages require change, learning and exploration of new territory. If one or both members in the relationship becomes rigid and resistant to needed changes the relationship could end in divorce. In my opinion, one of the major reasons that couples end in divorce is because they were unable to change to meet the new needs and demands of the relationship. One or both were unable or unwilling to make the needed changes to keep the relationship growing; as a result, the relationship died. Change we must, it is part of the human condition. If it was not, we would all still be infants in diapers. ABILITY TO COMPROMISE The ability to compromise refers to an individual’s willingness and proficiency at finding the middle ground. Being able to compromise is a sign of maturity. It is also needed in any relationship. If one person always gets his/her way, the other person is bound to feel dominated, and resentful. These negative feelings can rip the heart right out of any relationship. Finding the happy middle can provide the best of both worlds… giving and receiving. Sharing the last dish of ice cream with a friend is always better than eating it all alone, isn’t it? A WILLINGNESS TO WORK TOGETHER A relationship is like a business partnership; it has common goals, assets and liabilities. Like in a business, if members don’t work together, the business will become ineffective and possibly not exist for too long. The ability to work together means recognizing each person’s strengths and helping them come out at the same time recognizing each member’s weaknesses and learning to turn weaknesses into assets. Two heads are better than one and if couples follow this rule, they will see that the deep depressing valleys that lie ahead may be nothing more than pot holes once they approach them. KNOWING WHEN TO BACK OFF Every one needs room to breath, room to sort out their own thoughts, feelings and problems. If someone is always hanging on you, there is a tendency to want to push them off to reduce the burden of carrying them all the time. Providing individual spaces gives any individual the ability to see things more clearly. SUPPORT AND TRUST One of the benefits of a relationship is that we will have someone in our corner to support us and to affirm our existence. This support adds to the trust that is needed in any relationship. Without mutual support, a trusting relationship will not develop. Each member must have its emotional needs met in order to continue to invest in the relationship. The continued support and the being there for the other person emotionally is the way in which trust is developed. If a trusting relationship is cultivated and maintained, the ability to try new adventures and take new risks are enhanced. A supportive trusting relationship outside of the bedroom always increases the activity in the bedroom. LOVE, HUGS, KISSES AND LOVEMAKING The open expression of feeling in any relationship is vital to the continued growth of the relationship. Lovemaking should not be overlooked in a relationship, but it need not be the only ingredient that exists in a relationship either. Lovemaking is the icing on the cake and it gets there by mixing all of the above mentioned ingredients. Good lovemaking starts outside of the bedroom. If you want to increase the frequency and intensity of your lovemaking, try to increase the frequency and intensity of your communication, willingness to work as a team, sharing of self, being kind and supportive, give space and freedom to explore individual interests. All of these ingredients will add to the makings of a fine, wonderfully iced cake.

Good relationships are built on mutual trust and respect, and it’s essential for romantic partners to be honest with one another. As your relationship grows, open up and talk to your partner about your past, as well as your hopes and dreams for the future. Speak up, even if you have differing opinions about a topic — whether it’s who to vote for in the next election or where to vacation, you need to be able to talk controversial subjects through and respect each other’s perspectives. Make time to talk every day, sharing the details of your daily life or talking about more meaningful issues. Some couples make it a point to enjoy a glass of wine in the evening to relax and talk about the day’s events, while others take a walk together or simply touch base on the phone if one partner is on the road. Your sweetie wants to get to know all about what makes you tick. After all, if you don’t share your thoughts and interests, you may not be giving your partner a chance to love you enough!

Every day, tell your partner how much you admire one of his strengths. Say, “I’m impressed by your patience with others,” or “You are such a good cook.” Everyone likes to feel appreciated, and sharing good thoughts will have a positive impact on your relationship and your partner’s self-esteem . Make sure the quality you highlight really is a strong point, however, or he might doubt your sincerity. On the other hand, accepting the quirks about your partner that drive you nuts will also go a long way towards enhancing a romantic relationship , as long as it’s not a destructive behavior like driving too fast. Some traits that can be endearing when you first meet someone like the way he or she wears a certain T-shirt every Saturday or constantly misplaces his or her keys can be annoying when you’ve been together for a while. Be willing to overlook those pesky behaviors; after all, that’s what makes your sweetie unique. Let your partner know you think of her even when she’s not around, and that you really care about the details of her life. Does your significant other have an important presentation to make to a new client? Send an encouraging “good luck” text message before the meeting, and remember to ask how things went at the end of the day. Is he or she worried about an ailing family member? Show your concern and empathy for what your other half’s going through. You can also strengthen your relationship by taking time to get to know what makes your partner happy and show that you care with thoughtful little gifts and gestures. Pick up her favorite flowers occasionally; bring home his favorite snacks from the grocery store; or make a reservation at a favorite restaurant or a tee time for a round of golf. Thinking warm thoughts when you’re apart can easily turn into warmer thoughts when you’re together

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